I went for all my extra blood tests last week, for liver function, fasting lipids, blood sugar, and about four other things that mean nothing to me. Everything came back normal. Well within healthy limits. I was jumping for joy! Woo hoo!! The doctor was wrong! Yes, I can get on with my life, I can get out of this awful feeling of dread and depression. I can run away from diabetes and daily testing and exchange diets. I am capital letters two exclamation points FREE!! Except I'm not.
It turns out that a fasting blood sugar test is meaningless. I'll say it again and highlight it: meaningless. The results count for nothing. I have to go for more tests that will "catch" the lurking, reluctant to show diabetes. Now, my point is not "why bother having a test that is meaningless?"(although that would seem to be a question worth asking). No, my point is, why don't I know about all this? How can it be that no-one has explained this to me? I feel pissed off and let down again.
Positive sides: I have bought a book, "Diabetes: The First Year" and I will familiarise myself with all of its contents. I have been eating really well since the initial diagnosis. I am getting used to the masses of veg and no chocolate!! My almost continual headaches have all but disappeared and my skin looks better than ever. I am still very conflicted about dieting and fat acceptance but for me this feels like the right way to go for now. I feel in control. I think that has to be sufficient for the time being...
BTW Many thanks to all who have sent support, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. xx