One More for the "I Should Have SEEN it Coming" Category...

I got seduced in my supermarket, by low priced cereal. Nestle's "Fitnesse" to be specific. It was a pound a box and so, being a woman who likes a bargain, I bought several. Yes, with hindsight I can see that all the signs were there: it's a Nestle product, which kind of speaks for itself but in my defence I didn't register that fact until I got home; the name of the cereal: you see the feminized ending to the word? It's not just "Fitness", which I rather suspect they wouldn't be allowed to use, but FitnESSE, all delicate and pseudo-francais. It should have tipped me off. I'm ashamed as a Radfem that it didn't. So, having failed to recognise the warning signs, I broke into my first box this morning. And here's what I learned from my cereal box today as I read while I waited an inordinately long time for the kettle to boil, only to discover that I hadn't plugged it in:

1."Who's really going to know that you bought those take-me-now shoes a week before payday?" Who indeed?

2. "Who's really going to know that you didn't have one chocolate biscuit during the meeting, you had three?" Anyone else who happened to be in the meeting? Does it matter? I had more like twelve?

3. "Don't be a slave to the scales! What do they know about your shape?" Um. Okay?

4. "Try some alternative forms of exercise....take a dog for a walk - borrow your neighbour's if you don't have one!" No. That's just wrong. You need to be hyper-responsible where dogs are concerned. Dimwit.

5. "The Woman's Code of Honour: Always letting your best friend have first try of that last little black dress that's on sale... Never keeping secret addresses - such as the best hairdresser in town - to yourself...Always coming to the rescue in a man emergency with a glass of wine, DVD and box of tissues..." Oh, that's me alright. I'm never selfish when it comes to the LBD or who does my crew cut.

6."It's your life - live it your way. Three cheers for spontaneity, self-indulgence and self expression. It just feels so good!" Yes. Yes. Yes. And It does. But really, I think you may be patronising me now. Just a touch?

And finally, just when I was losing the will to go on, there was the instruction to "Eat Fab be Delicious". Which is trademarked. Yep. Trademarked.

So there you have it. Everything a woman needs to know from her cereal. Every stereotype going; cheeky little nuggets of "universal truths" humorously gathered together with some dynamic graphics and gorgeous photos of young, healthy vibrant women. All hinting at the great struggle that is femininity on "our terms". We CAN be gorgeous and have that last chocolate biscuit! We CAN wear take-me-now shoes and still have a job in an office! Wow! How empowerful are we?!

If you are looking for a cereal to help you either move your bowels or puke, look no further. Forget the contents, just read the back of the box.

And While I'm Here...

I'm Radfem. I don't do or agree with porn or prostitution. I don't publish comments that contain links to porn. I care for ALL women, even those with whom I have fundamental moral/ethical/political disagreement. I believe we can work it out without anger. I believe we should try.

Happy Monday!

Heart's fantastic idea has me just bursting with excitement! I'm hosting in November, month of my birthday, and I absolutely cannot wait to get involved. Yay Radfems! We fucking rock!

Because I love what she wrote and agree with all of it, and because it's just a beautiful read, I stole this from Heart's post:

"We define radical feminism as follows:

We believe that women are oppressed worldwide by patriarchy, the “rule of the fathers”.

We seek to abolish patriarchy.

We understand patriarchy to be a system of structures and institutions created by men in order to sustain and recreate male power and female subordination. The structures of patriarchy include, but are not limited to, the law, medicine, religion and the traditional family.

Women’s oppression is rooted in both the structures of our society and in capitalism and white supremacy. Patriarchy includes not only male rule but also heterosexual imperialism and sexism (Charlotte Bunch).

In order to abolish patriarchy, we must challenge its root components and causes which we locate in oppression of females by males.

We believe that the uprooting of sexism simultaneously inaugurates the uprooting of racism, class hatred, homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, ageism, ableism, competition, hierarchy, ecological disaster, and economic exploitation of all kinds.

The revolutions, so-called, which the world has known to date, have been coups-d’etat between men which have pruned certain branches but have left the root embedded for the sake of preserving male privilege over all women (Robin Morgan).

We are a journey of women becoming. We do not seek reconciliation with the fathers; rather, we affirm our original birth, our original source, movement, surge of living. We Re-member our Selves (Mary Daly).

We are woman-identified and woman-centered. We put women first, not only in our politics but in our personal lives.

The expression of our politics is concrete: we oppose pornography, prostitution, the institution of marriage and the traditional family, sadomasochism, compulsory heterosexuality, gender coercion, and dominance hierarchies of all kinds.

We endorse, support and work to envision and create peaceful, respectful, noncoercive, relationships, structures and institutions which affirm the importance of all human beings, all creatures, and the earth.

We affirm lesbianism and lesbian separatism as revolutionary paths for all women who choose them.

We understand gender as a structure and system of subordination, and as such, we seek its eradication.

We pursue and celebrate sisterhood."

Yes. We do. Have an amazing week, women!