Monday, May 15, 2006

I Really am Trying to Work...

I am in the umpteenth year of my PhD. I have a deadline in two days for my latest written piece which is a mapping out of a potential introduction. I am working on a rationale piece; a few pages explaining my choice of primary texts. I feel like I am getting nowhere, just swimming around in circles in the soupy swamp water that is my academic life.

Research is a lonely occupation. Nobody believes that I really am working; no-one gets what I am talking about and nobody actually wants to. My family thinks I am available all the time and at a moment's notice for hours on end. My friends make stupid comments like "when will you eventually have a job?" and "you don't know how lucky you are not to work". I am paid nothing and feel guilty all the time about not earning a living.

I often forget why I even started this process and dream of getting a full time job in a bakery with plenty of company, a living wage, no solitary thinking days and access to all the cakes and pies I can eat...

3 comments:

asdgasdfaserwe said...

I get a lump in my stomach just reading your post. I was in a similar situation doing an MSc part-time. It sounds familiar what you say about feeling like you're getting nowhere. Aren't people insensitive: asking things like 'when will you eventually have a job?'.

witchy-woo said...

Can I be the one to extend your second "welcome to the feminist blogoshpere"? I'ts looking jolly good so far!

Keep dreaming about working in a bakery with plenty of company and a living wage - not to mention all those cakes and pies.. but keep them as dreams because you really are working at your research.

Oh, and how do you do the underlining thing in HTML? I still haven't worked that one out :)

Pippa said...

Thanks both of you for the encouragement! I'll attempt to post you my info on HTML underlining! It may all go horribly wrong.....