Yes, Vile.

I join Twisty and Anne Bartow and all other bloggers who are acknowledging the death of Du'a Khalil Aswad. We can not ignore this. If, for our own painful reasons, we can't bring ourselves to watch her murder, we can scream about it until our throats hurt.

Happy Tuesday!

Because I wasn't up to being happy yesterday, here's this week's joyfulness a day late. Sorry.

Get familiar with the lyrics of Nedra Johnson's song "Anyway You Need Her": go to Nedrajohnson.com and click on "music" at the top, the song appears in the list. Click it. Enjoy! (thanks Heart, it really made my day!)

Go to Sinister Girl and congratulate her on her Walk Against Rape! She did a fantastic job and raised 1400 dollars for San Francisco Woman Against Rape! I love her so much. Here's a quote: "It was a beautiful day in San Francisco and we felt strong and brave and amazing and we were inspired by all of the wonderful folks who walked with us."

You rock my world Ms. Jared! And, I suspect, the worlds of many others! Have an amazing and radical week, women!

One More for the "I Should Have SEEN it Coming" Category...

I got seduced in my supermarket, by low priced cereal. Nestle's "Fitnesse" to be specific. It was a pound a box and so, being a woman who likes a bargain, I bought several. Yes, with hindsight I can see that all the signs were there: it's a Nestle product, which kind of speaks for itself but in my defence I didn't register that fact until I got home; the name of the cereal: you see the feminized ending to the word? It's not just "Fitness", which I rather suspect they wouldn't be allowed to use, but FitnESSE, all delicate and pseudo-francais. It should have tipped me off. I'm ashamed as a Radfem that it didn't. So, having failed to recognise the warning signs, I broke into my first box this morning. And here's what I learned from my cereal box today as I read while I waited an inordinately long time for the kettle to boil, only to discover that I hadn't plugged it in:

1."Who's really going to know that you bought those take-me-now shoes a week before payday?" Who indeed?

2. "Who's really going to know that you didn't have one chocolate biscuit during the meeting, you had three?" Anyone else who happened to be in the meeting? Does it matter? I had more like twelve?

3. "Don't be a slave to the scales! What do they know about your shape?" Um. Okay?

4. "Try some alternative forms of exercise....take a dog for a walk - borrow your neighbour's if you don't have one!" No. That's just wrong. You need to be hyper-responsible where dogs are concerned. Dimwit.

5. "The Woman's Code of Honour: Always letting your best friend have first try of that last little black dress that's on sale... Never keeping secret addresses - such as the best hairdresser in town - to yourself...Always coming to the rescue in a man emergency with a glass of wine, DVD and box of tissues..." Oh, that's me alright. I'm never selfish when it comes to the LBD or who does my crew cut.

6."It's your life - live it your way. Three cheers for spontaneity, self-indulgence and self expression. It just feels so good!" Yes. Yes. Yes. And It does. But really, I think you may be patronising me now. Just a touch?

And finally, just when I was losing the will to go on, there was the instruction to "Eat Fab be Delicious". Which is trademarked. Yep. Trademarked.

So there you have it. Everything a woman needs to know from her cereal. Every stereotype going; cheeky little nuggets of "universal truths" humorously gathered together with some dynamic graphics and gorgeous photos of young, healthy vibrant women. All hinting at the great struggle that is femininity on "our terms". We CAN be gorgeous and have that last chocolate biscuit! We CAN wear take-me-now shoes and still have a job in an office! Wow! How empowerful are we?!

If you are looking for a cereal to help you either move your bowels or puke, look no further. Forget the contents, just read the back of the box.

And While I'm Here...

I'm Radfem. I don't do or agree with porn or prostitution. I don't publish comments that contain links to porn. I care for ALL women, even those with whom I have fundamental moral/ethical/political disagreement. I believe we can work it out without anger. I believe we should try.

Happy Monday!

Heart's fantastic idea has me just bursting with excitement! I'm hosting in November, month of my birthday, and I absolutely cannot wait to get involved. Yay Radfems! We fucking rock!

Because I love what she wrote and agree with all of it, and because it's just a beautiful read, I stole this from Heart's post:

"We define radical feminism as follows:

We believe that women are oppressed worldwide by patriarchy, the “rule of the fathers”.

We seek to abolish patriarchy.

We understand patriarchy to be a system of structures and institutions created by men in order to sustain and recreate male power and female subordination. The structures of patriarchy include, but are not limited to, the law, medicine, religion and the traditional family.

Women’s oppression is rooted in both the structures of our society and in capitalism and white supremacy. Patriarchy includes not only male rule but also heterosexual imperialism and sexism (Charlotte Bunch).

In order to abolish patriarchy, we must challenge its root components and causes which we locate in oppression of females by males.

We believe that the uprooting of sexism simultaneously inaugurates the uprooting of racism, class hatred, homophobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, ageism, ableism, competition, hierarchy, ecological disaster, and economic exploitation of all kinds.

The revolutions, so-called, which the world has known to date, have been coups-d’etat between men which have pruned certain branches but have left the root embedded for the sake of preserving male privilege over all women (Robin Morgan).

We are a journey of women becoming. We do not seek reconciliation with the fathers; rather, we affirm our original birth, our original source, movement, surge of living. We Re-member our Selves (Mary Daly).

We are woman-identified and woman-centered. We put women first, not only in our politics but in our personal lives.

The expression of our politics is concrete: we oppose pornography, prostitution, the institution of marriage and the traditional family, sadomasochism, compulsory heterosexuality, gender coercion, and dominance hierarchies of all kinds.

We endorse, support and work to envision and create peaceful, respectful, noncoercive, relationships, structures and institutions which affirm the importance of all human beings, all creatures, and the earth.

We affirm lesbianism and lesbian separatism as revolutionary paths for all women who choose them.

We understand gender as a structure and system of subordination, and as such, we seek its eradication.

We pursue and celebrate sisterhood."

Yes. We do. Have an amazing week, women!

UK Abortion Rights Threatened. Or Not. Depending On Who You Listen To...

From Feminist Wire Daily News:

"Experts say that a healthcare crisis is imminent in the United Kingdom due to a growing number of doctors who are declining to provide abortion services, particularly to low-income women. Many healthcare providers fear that if the availability of safe and legal abortion services continues to decline, women will begin to turn to alternative and less-safe methods of ending their pregnancies.

While the UK Department of Heath has acknowledged that the number of doctors who are willing to provide abortion services is declining, it will not categorize this trend as something that could hinder women's access to abortion."

Well what a surprise. As if the DoH could care less.

My own personal experience of abortion can be summed up in a short paragraph: GP refuses abortion on NHS but recommends private clinic where abortion may be purchased for approximately two hundred pounds (in 1992). Client arrives at said clinic to find that GP is on board of directors at clinic. Work out for yourselves how humiliated and used client felt.

For all of our country's pride in the NHS and "reasonable" abortion rights, we still have a loooooong way to go before we get safe, free abortion on demand. If our primary abortion providers are declining at this rapid rate, we need to start asking why. What's behind this change? How can we best combat it? How may we help our low-income sisters in times of need?

Happy Monday!

Yes, I know I'm late today. I went shopping with my mother. Delightful. Let's get this week off to a belting start with some news about feminist activist successes last week...

Don Imus lost his job!! Woohoo! If you missed it, Imus is a radio host and last week he made some crappy and offensive comments on air about the women of the Rutgers University basketball team. Feminists got moving and campaigned like billy-o for Imus' sacking. They won. I almost can't believe it. But I do.

Portugal legalised abortion! Fanfriggingtastic! Up to ten weeks gestation, so it's still very limited, but it's a start. Other conditions may include: women may be shown an ultrasound of the fetus, they may be informed about adoption alternatives, and be educated about the various consequences of an abortion. There is to be a three day "reflection" period between deciding to terminate and going ahead with the procedure.

Portugal's previous abortion law was one of the most restrictive in Europe, only allowing abortion in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy if the mother’s health was at risk and in cases of rape up to 16 weeks. CNN reports that the government hopes that this new law will prevent dangerous illegal abortions, which have killed and seriously injured over 10,000 Portuguese women each year. Well for goodness sakes, this news just made my week. Imagine how it feels to be a Portuguese woman today. Now spread that joy!

Oh. My. God.

I have been doing some digging around looking into this MRA idea. I keep seeing it. Keep bumping up against the pale opininons of these "activists" for men's rights. What do they want? What rights do they think they don't have? Well, my digging paid off big time when I hit on this site UK Men's Movement and finally got to understand what all this male angst is about.

I urge you to go there today. Read of the suffering. The pain. The centuries old struggle to maintain power over women. Read about how women live longer than men. Learn about the injustice of "women returners" courses at various colleges, where women who have taken time out of their careers to give birth and raise children are helped back into the workplace. Marvel that there is no equivalent course for men.

Be appalled at sexual harassment laws used "deliberately by women against men they wish to attack." Take umbrage with these men at the existence of "women only syndrome", where women get their own male-free hour at the swimming pool or library. Feel the rage that comes from knowing that there is, in the UK, a Minister for Women with no male equivalent. But above all that: think about, digest and understand the feelings of violation and degradation knowing that "circumcision on men is still allowed by law, while being a criminal offence on women." The horror.

Yes. Now I know all I needed to know. Men's Rights Activists are just not that bright. Go, read the whole thing. You'll get angry, you'll want to argue each and every point. You'll want to explain how and why these men are getting it wrong. You'll really want to explain the difference between circumcision and FGM. But after a while you'll settle down and wake up to the fact that you would be wasting your words. You'll slowly come to the knowledge that this is only a part of the overarching patriarchal society in which we radfems make our homes. You'll realise that this MRA crap isn't the new threat you thought it was, it's just the boisterous ramblings of a few angry men. We see and hear it every day in many forms. Get over it men, you're saying nothing new.

Happy Monday!!

Eventually. I got carried away with my chocolate eating marathon and almost forgot to post! Happy Easter to all of you, spring is here and it's wonderful. I'm feeling quite proud of myself this week, having overcome a major work-related hurdle, so in honour of my PhD research into women and work in Atlantic Canadian short stories, I am sending you to Women and the Sea for a look at how women have worked in the maritime industries through history. It's a good read.


And in a similar vein, because all of my research involves women writers, I'd like to send you all here: Women Writers: a website all about yes, you guessed it, women writers. It's good to see these resources blooming. Check out the section called "chicken soup for my feminist soul". Have a radical week!

Happy Monday!

It's Ms. Jared's birthday tomorrow! Don't forget to pop over and send her some love.

After my small breakdown yesterday regarding the way our world sexualises and demeans its young women, I needed an antidote. And I found one. Girls Speak Out is a website co-created by Andrea Johnston and Gloria Steinem and it rocks! Point your daughters, sisters, neices, granddaughters, annoying neighbourhood children at this site and let them loose! Their motto is "Don't deal with it, Change it!" That'll do for me...

And finally, (because I was there when she did this and I just found it on YouTube) Amy Ray performing live in Manchester...Have a fantastic week you women!

You Can't MAKE this shit up...

I'm getting this off my chest before I have to work on tomorrow's Happy Monday post. I can't be in that woman centred, positive, happy feminist space until I've spewed this all out...

I'll skip the tedious back story and cut straight to it. It has come to my attention that there are nightclubs for children!! I can't get my head round it? These under-18 nights are run in ordinary nightclubs, finishing at ten thirty, ready for the real crowd to arrive. These are nightclubs where parents can dump their pre-pubescent broods and leave them dancing and imbibing soft drinks in some under-18 approximation of that adult ritual of getting plastered and flirting with the opposite sex. (Same sex flirting clearly still not acceptable). Is this some sort of social training?

My friend's daughter proudly showed me her photos from the last junior club night in Bolton and I do not know how I stayed upright. The photos were of her and a group of girls (they're THIRTEEN YEARS OLD) all fake tanned, wearing pink bra tops and hot pants. I thought I was looking at women in bikinis. Wearing big fluffy boots, full make-up and body piercings. They look like adults. They look like very "sexy" adult women on the pull. And the boys? Well, surprise surprise they look like small, hairless men. They wear clean shirts and pants and smart shoes. They probably splash on a bit of Lynx (and yes, I know all about that appalling Lynx Mynxes campaign, I'll get to that another post) and have a shave of sorts, but they are fully clothed and not at all sexualised. There's absolutely no chance of any of the boys being mistaken for someone over 18. The girls on the other hand, could quite easily and disturbingly pass.

What is this about? How can I critique this behaviour without sounding like I'm woman bashing? I want to say it's all about training young girls to be sex objects. I want to say where are our girls going to end up? I want to cry for those girls who find self-worth in looking and behaving like this and I want to cry for those who don't fit in and won't buy into it and are bullied and humiliated. I want to make it clear that it is a PATRIARCHY to blame for this sexualising of our girls. I want to do SOMETHING. But I'm so disturbed by what I learned that I am having trouble sleeping.

F*ck Off, I'm Hairy Too

Did ya see it? Did ya see Shazia Mirza being all hairy and pro-active about the female body last night on BBC three? I did. I kind of liked the show, but I kind of didn't at the same time. I got excited when Mirza talked about the shame of her body hair, and looked into how much of it she had removed over the years since her teens. I was thrilled when she said that she was going to grow it all out. I was angry as buggery when an ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL had her legs waxed and the "beautician" did it, presumably took her money for it and when questioned said that girls are becoming more "aware" of their hair at a younger age, as if that was something to celebrate! Yes, hairy girl children are to be feared and reviled...

I got pissed off when Mirza discussed body hair with some journalist and she said that not shaving makes men think that women are either feminists or political activists, like either thing is distasteful! Eugh, feminism. Just nasty. I was astonished when Mirza went looking for naked women in art and found that women have always been depicted as hairless and smooth skinned. Why haven't I noticed this? Why have I assumed that this hairless, sanitised woman image is a recent, 20th century onwards cultural convention?

What became apparent was that Mirza really wanted to be hairy and feminine. What she really wanted to get at was why the two things are seemingly incompatible and that really spoiled it all for me. She met with a fashion designer who made "sexy" undies out of body hair. They arranged a fashion show with real (not models) hairy women wearing the undies. That just really bent my mind because I liked it. I liked these normal looking hairy women's bodies strutting up and down and enjoying themselves. And for fuck's sake I KNOW better than that! It's fake empowerment, it panders to the patriarchy. It's fucking frilly knickers for God's sake! But it worked. Just for that two minutes when all those women got up on stage in a great big hairy gang and looked up at the camera, raised a two finger salute and shouted "Fuck Off! I'm a Hairy Woman!" it really fucking worked. My spine tingled.

It was, on reflection, too much to expect that the show be about rejecting femininity and embracing feminism; this was BBC Three, not channel four. It was, in its own way, a programme about confounding the hairless expectations of femininity and defying cultural beauty norms. I suppose you could say it was a start...

Happy Monday!

I'm a bit late today, but here's some great stuff to have a look at and set you up for a positive week...

Love Your Body is a website brought to you from those amazing people at NOW. Love Your Body Day is October 17th this year, so you now have plenty of time to get your body-loving posts and events ready. Check out the sections for offensive and positive adverts. It makes interesting reading, but don't get me started on the positive ones that I don't think make the grade!

This video made me smile! I may spend an afternoon flashing the people of Salford in just this way. Enjoy!

Sudanese Women to be Stoned to Death

From Feminist Law Professors:

Two Sudanese women have been sentenced to death by stoning for adultery after a trial in which they had no lawyer and which used Arabic, not their first language, the rights group Amnesty International said.

Sadia Idriss Fadul was sentenced on February 13 and Amouna Abdallah Daldoum on March 6 and their sentences could be carried out at any time, the London-based group said in a statement released late on Monday.

North Sudan implements Islamic sharia law.

“The women had no lawyer during their trial and were not able to defend themselves, as their first languages are those of their ethnic groups,” Amnesty said.

Both women are from non-Arab tribes but the proceedings were in Arabic and no interpreter was provided, Amnesty said. Their trial took place in central Al Gezira state.


The male accused in Fadul’s case was let off because there was not enough evidence against him. Witnesses are usually required to gain a conviction and forensic tests are not normally used in such cases. …

I can't find any information on action to take on Amnesty's website. All I can find is this information from the Sudan Tribune:

RECOMMENDED ACTION: Please send appeals to arrive as quickly as possible, in Arabic, English or your own language:
expressing deep concern that Sadia Idriss Fadul and Amouna Abdallah Daldoum are at risk of being stoned to death;
expressing concern at reports that this sentence was imposed after a trial at which the women had no legal representation and no translation of the legal proceedings into their languages;
expressing concern that one of Sadia Idriss Fadul has one of her children with her in prison;
noting that Amnesty International opposes the death penalty unconditionally in any circumstances;
calling on the authorities not to carry out the death sentence imposed on Sadia Idriss Fadul and Amouna Abdallah Daldoum.

APPEALS TO:
Mr Ali Mohammed Ali al-Mardi
Minister of Justice
Ministry of Justice
PO Box 302
Khartoum
Fax: +249 183 770883
Salutation: Dear Minister

Staff Lieutenant General Abdel Rahman Sir Al Khatum
Governor of Gezira State
Sudan
Fax: + 249 183 770143
Salutation: Dear Governor

Act now.

Well, Duh...

Of Course abortion rates drop if you insist on parental notification for women under 16 years of age. How uninformed are you Angela Watkinson, MP for Upminster? Parents are then able to assume complete emotional and physical control over their pregnant daughters and compel them to birth a baby that they did not want. Which situation, you appear to think, is no bad thing. However, in the unfortunate and not that rare occasion that the parents and offspring endure a difficult and/or abusive relationship, this parental notification rule could prove disastrous.

Ms Watkinson: please do not assume that all young women have loving, gentle, open minded parents with whom they are able to communicate freely. Please do not assume that every young woman is safe in her own home and with her family. Please do not assume that all young woman can articulate their pain and emotional distress. Please do not assume that young women are never assaulted and made pregnant by their own fathers.

The bill applies also to the provision of contraception...of course this only has any impact on young women who choose to ask for the pill, since anyone can buy a pack of condoms on behalf of anyone else. I will be writing to Angela Watkinson, telling her what I think of this misogynistic bill. I will also be writing to my own MP, urging him to vote against this appalling, woman hating bit of proposed legislation. I hope you will do likewise.

My Porn Dilemma...

Don't panic. I haven't switched sides, suddenly enlightened as to the "truth" regarding some women's agency in sex acts for money; I haven't had that particular epiphany and I never shall. No, it's this: one of my friend's sons has been caught out looking at online porn. His worried mum told me all about it, then went on at length, explaining that it was only "tame" porn... nothing violent or unusual, and therefore her 14 year old son is normal. She told me that she had chatted to him about the possibility of him stumbling across such deviant activities as (horrors!) gay porn (the male kind, not the acceptable and normal fake female, male gaze sanctioned kind), BDSM and fetish stuff and violent porn. She cautioned him that once he has seen these images, he cannot wipe his eyes clean.

No. He can not. He can not wipe from his eyes the kind of humiliating and degrading images that he has already seen and his mother and father have normalised and contextualised for him. Now he thinks that porn is good. When I suggested that it might be good to question any kind of porn, I got the "normal, sexual development" argument.

I expect solidarity against pornstitution from my women friends and as a result I am often disappointed. I am, however, rarely stuck for words and don't often back away from a debate. When the subject arises I shall continue to argue with my friend against this normalisation of porn because I think our friendship is worth it. But now I am in danger of losing that friendship because I can't accept her argument that what all this amounts to is normal adolescent development. Well, yes it IS normal for teenage boys and the men that they become to objectify women. It IS normal for boys to think that women are sexually available meat. It IS (I hear) normal to decorate your son's bedroom with posters of nubile naked women in an attempt to help him formulate "safe" sexual fantasies. It just fucking shouldn't be.

And we can't seem to get beyond our respective positions on that. I don't have a son, and I don't know how I would behave if I was torn between my absolute conviction that porn is wrong and my desire to have a son that "fits in" with his peers. I think I do know what I would do. But I can't voice this and be credible because in any hypothetical situation it is always easy to stay behind moral conviction.

I just don't know how far I go with this. I suppose what I'm asking is: should I just shut up? Is this going to have to be one of those subjects that she and I agree to keep off limits?

I Forgot...

to blog on International Women's Day. Shame on me. Here are some flowers by way of an apology:




And please, take a few moments to go and add your name to the virtual march in solidarity with our feminist sisters in Iran.

And if you get another minute and have some spare cash, nip over to Ms. Jared's place and help her increase her sponsor money for the walk against rape. Cheers!

So, There's This Dentist...

I currently take anti-anxiety medication, something else for panic attacks and another load of dope for another health issue that I don't care to reveal at the moment. (You don't need to know and it's neither exciting nor front-bottom related.)

Here's my question: should it be okay for my dentist to say to me "I take it you aren't on the Seroxat (Paxil) any more!" and then giggle as if she just told a really good joke? I felt really embarrassed and at that moment I didn't know why. Quick as a flash I answered "actually I am." She responded a bit sheepishly with "20mg?" I answered "30mg. I am, in fact, quite insane." She wrote it all in my notes and got on with the check up.

So, anyway, I know the answer to my own question. It wasn't okay for her to make an assumption, joke about it and make me feel ashamed of the medication that I need. But why did I have to try and be funny about it? First off, I wasn't sure why she made the comment. Has she seen the bad press that surrounds paroxetine and assumed that no-one takes it any more? Has she looked at my notes and calculated the length of time I have been on the tablets and assumed I ought to be "cured" by now? What prompted the question and the giggle?

Secondly, was there any way I could have responded to that comment without irreparably damaging the otherwise excellent relationship that I have with her? I love my dentist. She has coaxed me into more and better dental healthcare and she is still NHS. She has always been caring and sensitive and this was totally out of character for her. My gut feeling is that she will have noted the exchange and felt quite silly about it. I hope so. This is one of those conversations that I really don't want to have.

I suppose what I'm really asking is, "Why am I ashamed of my mental health status?". I'm a bit shocked that it was such a sore point. I thought I was beyond that kind of thinking. Turns out maybe I'm not.

Happy Monday!

I WILL not be tearful today..! This video made me wet myself. Really. Take the five odd minutes and enjoy some feminist comedy.



I love Maxine! "Dammit girl, you're Condi-licious!"

Have a wonderful, radical week you women!

Can Anyone Explain?

Why "BDSM Sexual Intercourse" has appeared as one of my subscribed feeds on Bloglines? I am going to complain about it. It was a bit of a shock when I clicked on my feeds page this morning; it was there at the top of my list! It's gone now because I deleted it, but now I'm thinking that deleting it may have activated something? Does anyone know? I am scanning with all my virus ware immediately!