So, today my Daughter comes home from college RANTING. She was absolutely furious because of a discussion in her philosophy class. The subject was pornography. Daughter explained that most of her class found porn acceptable and even desirable, men and women alike. Bulldog-like, my tenacious daughter fought her anti-porn corner only to be told by one young man that her opinions are "outdated fifties feminism"; this same man jokingly threatened to strangle her, going so far as to get up out of his seat and approach her. What humour! What fun! The irony of his behaviour was lost on him. The general consensus was that porn is acceptable because women in porn have a choice. They have agency. They are using their bodies to make a living.
I have stayed away from the subject of porn so far in my short blogging career, but today I'm having my say. Porn is NEVER okay. Porn is about male domination, aggression and ownership. Porn is about humiliation, violence and control. Women who use and participate in porn are condoning the abuse and rape of other women. Men who use, buy and celebrate porn are promoting violence against women. If you like to see women sexually degraded, whether or not you think they have been paid for their suffering, you are enjoying someone else's misery. If you think that monetary compensation is all it takes to legitimise violence and rape, you might ask yourself if it is okay to go around raping people and giving them money afterwards.
Porn apologists trot out hackneyed words like "consent" and "choice" and "sexual freedom". They accuse radical feminist women like me and Daughter of sexual dysfunction, misandry and frigidity. It seems that we just hate it that there are liberated women out there who love to have sex and enjoy earning money for doing what they love... we are simply envious hags who can't get laid. We've heard all the insults; there's no new rhetoric coming from the pro-porn brigade, the reasoning to which it clings is old and tired and sad. But it is becoming obvious to me that there are new, if unintelligent and inarticulate recruits in the pornography army. My Daughter reports that she and a friend were the only people in her class of fourteen who were anti-porn. What is to be done?
13 comments:
Re: "What is to be done?" You could start by removing the "F" word from your blog. It does not become you or your viewpoints.
I wholeheartedly agree. Porn is never okay.
I applaud your daughter and her friend for standing up to the other people in their class. I don't really know what is to be done but never allow yourself or your daughter to feel as if your views are wrong.
People who have admirable opinions and views are often the people who are most challenged. Particularly feminists, or those holding feminist views. It is disheartening sometimes, but you must take heart at the conviction that you are right, and they are wrong.
Pro-porn men and women don't seem to grasp the watertight arguments that feminists and women have been making for centuries - porn and prostitution are the shackles around women's feet.
I would also ignore the "anonymous" comment - someone who is too afraid to state their name and purpose, let alone post a coherent comment.
Sorry, have you seen any porn lately? If you haven't, then you're talking out of ignorance. Try suicide girls, or any of the other indie porn sites driven by women. If you have, like a large proportion of the human population of both genders, then you're hypocritical.
Yes, some porn is about male opression of woman. So are many marriages. Are you going to denounce the marriage institution? the notion of bi-gender family?
Anonymous: Which F word? Feminism? Freedom? Fuck? Oh, no. You mean FAT? Say it isn't so...
Falling Star: thanks for your comments. In particular the statement that porn and prostitution are the shackles around women's feet.
Yishay: it seems I can't win... I either know nothing of "indie porn sites driven by women" (just how does this make porn okay?) or I do, in which case you think I'm a hypocrite.
Oh! EXCEPT! It is possible to know of the existence of something and, as a consequence, disapprove of that very thing. Hypocrisy has a very specific definition, I think you might have chosen the wrong word. And yes, I am certainly going to denounce the marriage institution. Bi-gender family is another subject entirely and is not limited to or defined by any relationship with the social and religious construct that is "marriage". Hope this clears things up! Cheers, Pippa.
GRRRRRRRRR. At least she wasn't the only one in the class who was anti-porn. There have been times when I've been the only one, and it's lonely. Good for her and good for you.
hold on:
wasn't the suicide girls owner been proved to have screwed them out of money?
yes. there's a whole lot of ex-suicide girls that have come out about how shittily they have been treated.
I don't know anything about the suicide girls, what's the basic info? Without the graphics please!
Hi Pippa,
Great post, and kudos to both you and your very brave daughter!
And I think you should use any f-word that suits the purpose on this blog. There are so many good ones: feminism, fabulous, freedom, fat, fantastic, feverish, funny...
Have your pick.
YL
Well done your daughter for standing up for herself. It's not surprising that so many young people do not see anything wrong with porn though, considering it has saturated the mainstream and girls are told they've already achieved equality. The backlash against feminism seems to have done a very good job, sadly.
Well done Daughter and well done you for creating such a strong young woman! It's bloody hard to go against the grain when you're 14, especially when that grain is made up of the one thing you will get the most 'cool points' for supporting. What's to be done? Keep shouting until they can't ignore us any longer.
Suicide girls has been around for a while, it's pretty much a place for pornophiles to go and pay money to look at punk-rockified porn- women who would fit the normal mold for the porn scene were it not for their tattoos and wild hair colors and body piercings. I think each woman has her own site with different stuff, including a journal and that kinda junk.
And yeah, I know about it because I've seen it. And I'm a recovering addict, not a hypocrite.
Cheers to Pippa for raising a strong Feminist Daughter.
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